First of all let’s find out what the confidence is and how to become self-confident.
Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself when a big deal is scheduled, raise your hand when an interesting project appears, or speak at a conference (and without any excitement!). Confidence is not a 100 percent guarantee that everything will always work out, but it helps to get out of the comfort zone, expand the boundaries and take a course for success.
Statistics confirm that success is more related to confidence than to competence. So, here are some steps to self-confidence.
Show confidence. Actually, it may sound strange, but in order to learn to be truly self-confident, at first you should imitate confidence. Out in the wild, some animals pretend to be brave in the face of danger. You should also pretend to be confident and brave.
Autosuggestion does not work. Our brain analyzes and compares our expectations with our experience and real life situation. If these two aspects do not match, the brain goes out of control and you begin to experience stress. There are anxiety and negative thoughts, because of which all self-confidence disappears. So how should you behave?
Get better prepared for an exciting situation, rehearse in front of the mirror (pay attention to the tone of voice and facial expression) and look at others positively, have fun with them. This will give the brain "a good reason" to believe that your positive attitude corresponds to a favorable external situation, and the confidence will appear by itself.
Do not forget that you expect more from yourself than others from you. Good news: the whole world will believe what you are showing. Thanks God, no one can read your thoughts and no one knows about fears and anxieties.
The bad news: any slanting gaze, any random word, any reaction of people to their actions you can misinterpret, and then worry about this (actually imaginary) occasion.
In this case, psychologists recommend listening to your inner voice. Spend a little experiment: within a week, write down what thoughts are spinning in your head (precise formulations) when you lack self-confidence. Just by recording and analyzing your internal dialogue, you will be one step closer to reducing the number bad thoughts, and to their complete elimination. In addition, it’s useful to write down and keep a list of your achievements, experiences, events that made you feel important, confident, and understand that your actions are useful.
Every time your inner voice goes out of control, take a three-minute break, pick up a list and remind yourself how good you can be. Present your brain with material evidence when you need additional confidence.
Watch your physical condition. It’s a cliché to say that you need to take care of your health, but this cliché is really important for getting confidence. Have you ever wondered why all successful leaders, without exception, regularly go in for sports? If you work a lot, eat fast food, sleep a little and lead a sedentary lifestyle, it becomes more difficult to show the world a better version of yourself.
You don’t need to train twenty-four hours a day: a 30-minute walk from work to home or climb to the 10th floor on the stairs can be enough to produce endorphins. Start with small changes in your habitual way of life, gradually get used to them. Difficulties and stress should be added to your life in very small portions. It’s necessary to keep both physical and mental health in balance.
Dating advice: How to Attract Beautiful Women
Skip your internal dialogue. Do you know, why most people's communication skills are really bad? - because this people think a lot instead of focusing on their interlocutor and demonstrating their disposition. They are afraid to look stupid. The main reason for this behavior is that they aren’t prepared well.
It is almost impossible to be truly self-confident if you are not prepared enough to show yourself from the better side. Think about the people you are talking to. What do they really want? How can you help them? If you focus on helping your interlocutor, you will get rid of anxiety and get the same genuine interest in response.
Make mistakes quickly, make mistakes often. A horrifying word that paralyzes even outstanding people and prevents them from succeeding is failure. Especially it scares those who by nature are perfectionists and chronically afraid to do something wrong. But the failures in our life happen, it's just inevitable. In fact, if you are not mistaken, then won’t learn anything new. More often remember the words of Ramit Sethi : "This is not a failure - it's a test." You just check that it doesn’t work. And when you find out, you can move on and find ways that will lead to the desired result.
And the most importantly: once, recovering from another "failure", you realize that you don’t feel emptied. After all, it is this experience that helps you face your fears and achieve your goals in the future.
Take time to study materials on the topic. Every hour spent for this activity will bring a disproportionately large result. And what happens when you get a positive response? You have already guessed - you will gain a lasting, genuine self-confidence and will be able to attract Russian girls.